Tangerine is Not Slimming!

Alone, in front of my computer, I opened the file from Wednesday night's Zanies performance. You know how when you see yourself on film or hear a recording of your voice you contemplate never speaking or appearing again in public?
I was prepared for that moment. The memory from that night was hazy, at best. I kept asking Bear if I had said this thing or that thing. He kept assuring me I had said everything I had practiced.
I don't trust Bear. After many years of marital bliss he has learned a few short-cuts to curtail conversations with me. One of them is the tried and true - "you did great!" only to find out later, not so much.
This time, Bear might be right?

I feel pretty confident about my performance! I do hope you enjoy it. Again, family and friends - you rock my world and I love you for it!

Oh, What a Night!

This morning I woke up with a happiness hang-over. It was just that kind of night.  It's the kind of memory that will bring me joy until I can't remember anything anymore.
I was the last of the "graduates" to take the stage. This meant I sat through nine other graduate's sets. My outside demeanor was calm. Inside, I was a bundle of nerves. Never once, however, did I doubt my decision to be there nor the path that led me there.
I knew it was where I was supposed to be. I knew I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
I give some credit to Oprah for these little insights.
I have XM/Sirius radio and I get the Oprah channel. On the long, boring drive from Rural Montgomery County to Hendersonville and back for the past nine months I have listened to a lot of talk radio. Yesterday, while running errands I found myself listening to Oprah describing her career path. She talked about intuitively knowing when to leave one situation to try something new. She recalled how a former boss told her a move to Chicago to do a local talk show was a horrible idea because she was no Phil Donohue and further predicted she would "die on the vine".
She said she did not want to be Phil Donohue she wanted to be herself. I think we can all know how that turned out?
So, the point is - I can only be me. Part of what makes me, well, me is my circle of friends and family. On stage, you cannot really see the wider audience because of the stage lighting. I could not see my supporters but I knew where each and everyone of them were. So many of the chairs were occupied by people there for me that the whole room felt covered in love. Being loved by these people and feeling the presence of those who could not physically be there with me made me a success before I spoke my first words.
Three minutes is a blink of an eye and an eternity. I claim those three minutes as a highlight in my life.
It was only 53 years in the making. Totally worth the wait.

I Get More Time Than the Kentucky Derby

Today is the day! If all goes well, I will be able to cross off one of my bucket list items. It's a personal "biggie" for me. I will take the stage at Zanies Comedy Club in Nashville and, with microphone in hand, attempt to make an audience laugh.
The audience is stacked in my favor. Many friends and family members have plucked down their hard-earned money for a mid-week showcase of recent graduates of Rik Robert's School of Laughs Comedy Performance class. I am one of about ten who, hopefully, will have the guts to show up and fully expose our delicate mental conditions to a room full of people with please-God-let-them-be-low expectations.
I will be on stage for only a short period of time. Time is relative, of course. I get three minutes. The Kentucky Derby is only two minutes long and people talk about that for a long time. This led me to thinking how many other important events only take the proverbial "blink of an eye".
I have attended wedding ceremonies that took less time than it did for the bride to apply her mascara. Conversely, one of the longest ceremonies produced the shortest union-roughly one week of marital bliss for each of the 72 minute ceremony.
Anyone who has attended a college graduation knows it takes a nanosecond to call out the graduate's name and to have the fake diploma pressed into their hands. Glance at your watch and you have missed it.
My blink-of-an-eye list is endless: childhood, first kiss, conception of at least one of my children and life. I will add another moment that passes too fast tonight. One consolation is this - at this point in my life I KNOW all is fleeting. I recognize that and I claim it. I have to wisdom to savor it in its brevity.
I just have to remember to breathe and not rush my three minutes in the spotlight. I should do OK. After all, I do have experience with the aforementioned conception episode and that turned out just fine.

Butterflies? I'll Take an Order to Go!

I am a big girl. I have tons of life experiences. I have survived army life, 32 years of marriage and the birthing of two ginormous babies that I raised to adulthood. You may have also heard I am a grandmother and a mother-in-law-to-be? That is a whole lot of scary stuff I have survived to this point in my life.
So, why do I have butterflies?
I am a day away from taking the stage at Zanies Comedy Club in Nashville. I am amazed how many friends and family members have signed on to support me. Therein lies the problem. Total strangers, I can handle. When the eyes staring back at me are the same people I will run into again and again and again that's a whole different story. Cue butterflies....
On the upside, I will be moving this summer. I also have options. I could delete my Facebook account. I could change my phone numbers. I could avoid the Fourth of July family reunion. I could become a recluse. I could become more dramatic!
Or I could practice, practice, practice.
I have worked on my set. In front of the bathroom mirror, in the car and wherever two or more people have gathered I have sought the "spotlight" to see how my set sounds. In a pinch, I even performed for Bear in the kitchen. He heckled me and we are currently not speaking.
To be fair, I have, on occasion, heckled his performance too. Turnabout is fair play, I guess. Wait ... that's funny. I should write that down.

My New Blog & a BIG Announcement!

It's a new year and a new beginning for me, hence the new blog. Don't worry, Dear Friends, lest you think I have abandoned the belief that everyday has the potential to be the best day yet. I have not! I am turning in another direction and decided to make a few changes. Stay with me?

At the ripe age of 53, I have decided to try my hand at something I have enjoyed as a pseudo-hobby for many years - comedian. There I said it. No turning back now. The proclamation is alive and well in cyberspace.

In November of last year, I began a series of comedy writing classes at Zanies in Nashville under the instruction of Rik Roberts. Last month, I completed the comedy performance classes. Now, it is graduation time. This means I will be on stage at Zanies. WHAT? Yes, I am going to do stand-up comedy on stage in front of people.

Check out my Facebook page to find information, if you feel so inclined to join my my stage debut. If you can't make it I will have some other opportunities to showcase my unique take on life, love and all things female. Watch for updates.http://new.evite.com/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=fb_share_widget&utm_content=fb_link&utm_campaign=invite#view_invite:eid=0240MDVWTUTCHIKMAEPBSOTCT7RM7Q&gid=fb